Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Nagging Mothers

a while ago, I came down from stairs and took something from the fridge and ate it. I went next to mom and watched a TV. The food pieces fell and I bent down to pick them up until mother started acting weird all of a sudden and started bitching at me and I don’t know what the hell she was talking about or what I did wrong to make her mad but she started cursing me and telling me things like she regrets being my mother because I didn’t even serve her well or treated her as one and I was like what the fuck is she talking about and she said starting from now, she would stop caring and we'll do things our own way. She doesn’t want to talk to me and she warned me that she doesn’t want to see my face and that I shouldn’t get in her way. Though this isn't so mean as it sounds like and I should just let it pass like any other day, this thing just got into my head and the things she said wouldn’t go away. There was something in there that made me feel she has grown tired of her life being a mother. I don’t know what I should do, really. I don’t know what she's expecting of me. I know I'm such a lazy ass all the time but that doesn't mean that I dont move and do the things she ordered me to and she keeps bitching at me since I wait to be told what to do before I start to move but I didn't realize it would come to a point like this; To the point of making me feel like I'm about to be disowned or something. One thing is certain; this is going to be harder for me since we're living in the same roof. She thinks I don't give a damn about her when in fact, it was never that way. I really want to talk back and explain myself and correct her judgements... But I can’t and I don’t know why. Or maybe I don’t have the courage. Dad called me up a while ago and I tried to keep cool but he noticed something was wrong. I wanted to tell him everything but that would just make the situation worst. Now I have no idea what to do since this is not going to work out well between her and I anymore. I don’t want to cause dad burden either. I’m just trying to suck it all up but still i can’t stop crying. Damn it >.<, I’m going to be alright. All I need to do is figure this out on my own and decide whether I should move out or not though it might sound impossible since Dad wouldn't permit but mom and I know that this has to be an option. I want to prove them wrong, that I could make it on my own. I will go and think these things over.

No comments:

Follow me on Google!