So this post is not the typical Beauty and Fashion article that I would usually make. This post is more about my thoughts and recent realizations.
I don’t know if it’s just me or is life getting more serious now than it was before? I feel like I have completed all the things that I wanted to try and I’m getting tired of them. I just want to be able to grow as an individual. I want to learn more. I want to earn more. I want to give more. I can’t believe I am saying this but it is as if I am ready for a new responsibility.
Everything was at the greatest peak until things have started to change. I started to feel tired. I got what I wanted. What’s the point now? This whole chilling out was getting tiresome. I counted how many times I went out to party since I passed the NLE. I only went out less than 5 times. I enjoyed staying at home and being a home buddy. I enjoyed talking to Peter about life and plans for the future. I enjoyed helping out in the office when I can. I enjoyed reading different articles about health. Most importantly, I enjoyed going back to the basics. I looked for my friends to have meaningful conversations. My two best friends were busy. One of them just graduated from college while the other is in Law school. My two other girl friends are currently living in the States. They were my comfort and I miss them a lot. My close friends were also busy with their other friends. The only time I got to see them is when we were at Catribo and they happen to be there. I tried to get a hold of them but for every time I tried, there was nothing sensible to talk about. We were growing apart.
I don’t want to talk about other people and their dirty closets. I don’t want to talk about friends of friends that I don’t even know. I don’t want to talk about exes and how shameful they look like now. I don’t want to talk about guys and their rides. I don’t want to talk about partying and getting wild. I just don’t want to talk when there’s nothing worth talking about. Call me boring but I don’t see any sense to that stuff. I’m starting to become choosy with friends. I want to have a friend that has a good influence, someone who can come over and stay the whole day at my house as we watch different DVD movies rather than party and talk about boys. After all, friends are an extension of yourself.
When Sharmila came and visited me from Cebu, we had a lot of fun trying new things. We went to the barter. We rode the zip lines. We watched the sunset. We went out for a swimming and had dinner later that night. We also partied with my friends. All those happened in just 2 days. While partying, we were inside the Halo. I was very hesitant to have fun because of last year’s incident with Peter. I sat in the corner for almost 2 hours while the others were all dancing. I was not influenced by alcohol at all. I was just watching all the people crowding inside the small pub. I noticed that most of the girls were intoxicated and sweaty. They were dancing heavily while the guys slowly moved toward them and tried to take advantage. This is the main reason why I don’t go to a disco pub with girls only. I should really have guy friends with me especially my boyfriend because I don’t want perverts trying to have their hands crawl on me, let alone come close to me. Peter had surprisingly loosened up for me and I was starting to go back to my good mood.
Things went well and we all enjoyed the night. I know that this only happens once in a blue moon. I thought to myself, “Is this the kind of night life I want to enjoy every other weekend? Girls coming in killer heels and skin tight clothing with their thick makeup on then leave looking all like they just came out from a terrible cat fight? I would rather wear a cute dress to a nice dinner and head to the boulevard for a balot and chicharon.” Yes, I would rather eat cheap than look cheap. I’m sorry if this may sound offensive but this is after all, my perspective.
I just feel like, there's more to life than just all the partying and having fun. It may sound strange that all these come from a carefree person like me but then I realized, what's the point of having fun when there's no good reason for it. I wanna have fun because I accomplished something great, not because I am bored. The socialites that I used to hangout with have now become strangers to me. It's okay, I don't mind. In the end, you have to choose whether to keep living your life the way they live theirs or give yourself direction and make a better difference. I would always go for the second option.
A peaceful holy week to everyone :)